Locking In
Locking In
To Come Back to Life
When this deployment started, I made a decision.
Not to just "get through it." Not to survive another season counting down days. Not to lose myself while trying to hold everything together.
This time, I was going to lock in. With my faith. With my fitness. With my marriage. With myself.
And honestly? I didn't realize how badly I needed it until I looked at the side-by-side picture from ten weeks ago compared to now. That woman… doesn't even look the same.
Not just physically. Her eyes were tired. Her spirit was heavy. She was functioning, but she wasn't fully living.
And the hardest part to admit is this:
That sentence hit me hard because I know so many women understand it. You spend so much time pouring into your marriage, your children, your responsibilities, your home, your routines, everyone else's needs… that one day you look in the mirror and realize you disappeared somewhere along the way.
Not all at once. Slowly.
You stop prioritizing yourself. You stop taking care of your body. You stop nurturing your faith consistently. You stop making time for the things that make you feel alive. And eventually you become a woman who is surviving her life instead of fully inhabiting it.
That was me. I was carrying stress in my body. In my thoughts. In my habits. In my reactions. And deployment became the mirror that forced me to face it.
Because when your husband leaves, the distractions get quieter. The excuses get louder. And eventually, you're left face-to-face with yourself.
This deployment could have broken me emotionally. Instead, it rebuilt me.
- Chose
discipline over excuses.
- Made
weights non-negotiable.
- Made
time with God necessary, not optional.
- Became
intentional about my marriage instead of passive within it.
And somewhere in the middle of those small, daily choices… I started coming back to life. Not because my circumstances changed immediately. Not because deployment suddenly became easy. But because I changed.
I stopped waiting to feel motivated. I stopped romanticizing burnout. I stopped viewing self-neglect as sacrifice.
And maybe the most important thing I've learned is this: a healthy woman impacts everything around her. Her home. Her children. Her marriage. Her peace. Her confidence. Her faith.
Ten Weeks Ago
Now
The woman I see now still has responsibilities. She still misses her husband deeply. She still has hard days. But she's grounded. Stronger physically. Stronger mentally. Stronger spiritually.
And maybe that's what "locking in" really means. Not becoming someone else. But finally returning to yourself — the version of you God was trying to call back all along.
With grace and honesty,Justine
