The Danger in Pity Parties
Life Lately · A Note from Julz
The Danger in
Pity Parties
Lately, I've been noticing something.
There are a lot of pity parties happening.
And before you think I'm pointing fingers… I've thrown my fair share too.
Life has handed me plenty of reasons.
I'm a single mom of two. I've walked through trauma, heartbreak, fear, betrayal, and seasons where I genuinely wondered what God was doing. If I wanted to sit down and make a list of everything that's gone wrong in my life, I could probably fill several pages.
But here's what I've learned. I can't stay there.
Because whatever I focus on grows.
If I spend all day thinking about everything that's wrong, eventually that's all I'll be able to see. Bitterness grows. Fear grows. Anxiety grows. Before long, they've taken over my life without me even realizing it.
So I've had to learn to interrupt my own thoughts. When I catch myself spiraling, I stop and ask myself…
“What's good right now?”
Sometimes the answer is simple. My girls are healthy. I have a home. I get to sing at church. God woke me up this morning. I'm breathing. His mercies are new every morning.
Changing your thoughts doesn't mean pretending life is perfect. It means choosing what you'll dwell on. We have more control over our minds than we often realize. If I'm not directing my thoughts toward what is true, then eventually something else will.
Then I remember Jesus carrying the cross, beaten, mocked, and crucified… and suddenly my problems aren't the biggest thing in the room anymore.
That doesn't mean my pain isn't real. It doesn't mean I can't grieve. It simply puts everything back into perspective.
Jesus experienced rejection. He experienced betrayal. He experienced unimaginable suffering. Yet He continued to trust the Father. When I remember that, it changes the way I carry my own hardships.
Looking back over my life, I've noticed something else. The seasons where I drifted away from God were the seasons I made some of my worst decisions.
I tried filling empty places with things that only made me feel emptier. For a while, it even felt fun.
But sin has a way of promising freedom while quietly building a prison.
The closer I've grown to Christ, the more He's transformed my life. Not because life suddenly became easy — it hasn't. But because He's changed me. He's given me peace where there used to be chaos. Wisdom where there used to be confusion. Hope where there used to be despair.
I've learned that walking closely with Jesus doesn't eliminate hardship, but it does change how I walk through it. And that's the lens I've had to keep choosing lately.
So… life lately?
Life lately has looked a little different than I expected. A relationship ended. I've cried. I've sat by the creek. I've worshipped through tears.
I've learned that singleness isn't a punishment. According to Paul, it can actually be a gift (1 Corinthians 7:7).
Most importantly, I've learned that I get to choose what I dwell on.
I can rehearse every disappointment, every heartbreak, every unanswered prayer…
Or I can remember God's faithfulness.
I can throw myself a pity party…
Or I can fix my eyes on Jesus.
The moment I shift my eyes from my problems to the cross, everything changes. Not because my problems disappear, but because I remember who's walking through them with me.
“Another in the Fire” 🔥
Hillsong UNITED
If you haven't listened to it, you need to. The chorus is basically a reminder that I'm never actually alone in it. There's Someone standing with me in the fire, holding back the waters when I'm in over my head, and that same resurrection power that emptied the grave is the power living in me right now. Go give it a listen when you get a chance.
So if you're in a hard season, let this be your reminder.
Cry if you need to.
Grieve what you've lost.
Bring every burden to Jesus.
Then get back up.
Look for what's good.
Look for where God is working.
Because I promise you, He's working even when you can't see it.
As for me?
Life lately hasn't gone the way I planned.
But maybe that's because God was writing
a way better story than the one I had in mind.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog. <3
Xoxo,
Julz
